New Beginnings

Ah, the time has come to rethink my point of view on drugs. I have made many mistakes since my last post, and mistakes I know they are, but the hilarity in them, I just cannot pass up. I swear, I'll have to tell my children these stories. The first and foremost funnies one of them all: One night, a couple of friends and I got together and smoked a bowl of some stuff that, I cannot lie, was the best shit I've ever had. We were sitting out on the road, and they decided they wanted to go for a walk, so they were like, "C'mon!" Except, (and I'm sure all of you stoners know the feeling of never getting up again, the one when you get so fucking stoned that you can barely think straight) I just sat there. They walked a couple of feet, and stopped, turned around, and said, "Why aren't you moving?"

I said," I can't. The ground people are stuck to my butt, and if I stand up, they'll all fall off and die. Then, their angry, vengeful overlord will come and devour my soul for eight stale skittles. It won't end well." They finally got me up, and we were walking down the road, and all I could concentrate on was the street lamp, and I really did scream out, "MAN! THIS IS LIKE A FUCKING HAMSTER BALL! THE WORLD KEEPS ROLLING IN FRONT OF ME BUT I'M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE!" I need help, man. I can think of the best fucking metaphors when I've smoked weed.