I've had such a hard fucking time with people, being accepted and loved and all. I just wish I could die so I wouldn't have to fucking deal with people.
The person that I felt the most for in this world left me on my ass, and now I have to act like I'm okay so he doesn't pester me. He doesn't understand things, I don't think. I act fine during the day but it totally comes out at night, and I feel like I can't control it. I can't STAND it.
Sad music is the only thing that doesn't remind me of him right now. I want so much to hurt myself, but I won't do it.
I think I'll learn new piano music.