Fleeting Memories

There are days when I can just sit here, thinking. Memories come and go like a slideshow moving to fast for one to comprehend what the pictures are, but I still know what they are. I still know, when I see rain scenes and then my mind moves onto something else, I still remember what days they were. I still remember who I was with, what I was wearing, where I was. I wish one memory could stay longer than a fleeting second, but as the days move farther away, the memories stay for less time.

Rain makes me think. It makes me think of darkness, of sorrow, but at the same time, it brings back memories of another day, another place, another time, when things were okay. When things were different, when I was allowed to run in the rain with my friend because we had nothing better to do. When such things wouldn't be considered juvenile because "you're too old for that." And as I get older, I get less and less innocent. I start changing, molding myself into an image I believe will be accepted by society.

I always told myself I would never do such a thing, but as I look back, I always have. I've always changed my shape and ways so that I would not be considered "crazy," or "stupid," because, as much as any self-respecting human hates to admit it, that's the only way to get by. You simply cannot survive by just "being yourself." You must learn to accept that society has its views on things, and that's all that matters.

If you want a tattoo, but the job you want or do doesn't allow them, you will not get a tattoo. If you want black fingernails, but your school has banned them, you will not do it. Rules are what shapes us. Deep inside, we all wish we could be brave enough to do the things we truly long to do, but society has such a band-aid on us, that the sting would be more than a sting if we ripped it off. If we removed the proverbial band-aid and allowed our scars to show, society would not accept us and only push us away. The sting would become a slight burn, until the pain was so white-hot that we were forced to put on another band-aid, this one also approved by the FDA of life.

If our scars are deep enough, society puts a bandage on us. Society wraps us so tightly that we cannot break free, until our nurse decides it's time for another bandage, and for a little while, we are truly ourselves. But then the nurse gets back with the gauze and tape and wraps us right back up again.

Speaking in metaphors again, eh Savannah?

Yep.

Interview With Savannah

So, Savannah, where did you begin your writing career?

Well, it was a couple of years ago, and all my friends were into writing fanfictions. I was pretty good at essay and term papers, so I thought it'd be a cool idea to write my own story. Of course, having been in seventh grade, it sucked complete balls, but, hey, it was my start. I remember it was long and ridiculous, with original characters thrown in here and there because I didn't know enough about the actual characters to write a story.

Hn, interesting. So, Savannah, if you had to choose anyone from any fandom, who would you date?

Oh, that's a fun question. I guess, well... It varies with my mood, right now I'm stuck on Itachi, from Naruto. Although, if Naruto, Kakashi, Iruka, Jiraiya, Deidara, Sasuke, Gaara, Kiba, Shikamaru... Oh, I should stop. This is bad, I feel like a whore! D:

Coolio. So, aside from the fanfiction crap, do you have any bad habits?

Well... I'm a pot head? And I smoke cigarettes, but I intend on quitting. I guess, I should, really, it's not that healthy. Oh, and I bite my nails. Haha, wow.

Why do you do these things, Savannah?

I started smoking cigarettes because it was really the only thing to do in Small-Town USA. I really had every intention to quit after a week or so (I'm so stupid sometimes), but it never happened. And here I am today. I don't do it because I have to now, either. I really do it because I enjoy it. It's not a damned rebellion thing, either. I really just want to live my life as it comes at me, not worrying about the future. I mean, I'll make decisions that will ultimately affect my future, as in my job and life, but not really my health. I'm not going to get into hardcore drugs or anything, oh no. Just weed and cigarettes, that'll satiate me. I've been biting my nails since I was able to lift my fingers to my mouth, so... Now that I have braces, I can't really do it anymore, though.

Okay... You're weird. Anyways, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Well, there's a number of things. I play piano, sing, write, draw, and ride horses. I've been playing piano for seven years now, I've been drawing for... er... EVER, I've sang since I was able to talk, and I've ridden horses for around six years. I actually had my own two horses when I lived in Small-Town USA, and when I moved out to the city I had to sell them. That was one of the hardest things I think I've ever had to do. And then I also had to leave behind my HEIRLOOM piano. Ugh, that pissed me off. But I have a Korg keyboard in Big City USA, so I'm not completely instrument-less.

Hm. If you could be any animal, what would it be?

Oh, that's easy. A horse, of course. As long as I was in under good owner-ship, then, hell yeah.

Okay, that was an interesting interview. Any last comments?
I'll be back... with weapons.